• Just let us have this. And it came to pass that Urban Meyer’s recycled turtle story, which brought great joy to all corners of God’s green internet, gained such traction that Ohio State’s media relations folks were forced to issue the following statement, which we are printing here in full, caps and italics emphasis faithfully reproduced from the original document:
Date: Feb. 12, 2013
To: Media Covering Ohio State Football
This note is in response to the headlines that are running on the internet that don’t seem to take into consideration that Coach Meyer told a JOKE to a crowd of high school coaches last week. He was telling a story about toughness and he exaggerated a story about toughness. It is the same story he has told numerous times before, including last year at this same convention; only the coach he talked about last year wasn’t Coach Hayes, but Coach Bruce.
So please know: the story about toughness that Coach Meyer shared with a crowd last week and the year before and numerous times before was a joke and only a joke.
Thank you in advance for your clarifications.
Nothing gold can stay, y’all.
• In happier B1G news … Barry Alvarez says the Big Ten is done scheduling FCS programs. We are pleased. Some other folks are not, and there are valid reasons, but we’d still rather watch New Mexico State than the Citadel. Sorry, the Citadel.
• And back to unhappy news. “Former Arkansas football coach John L. Smith has been accused of using his employment contracts with the Razorbacks to defraud several of his creditors, according to two complaints filed this week in U.S. Bankruptcy Court.” Read more from Brent Schrotenboer.
• That’s just gonna make next year’s hot seat all the hotter, PAAAOWL. Mark Richt gets a raise and a contrat extension through 2017.
• Crootin’ tyme! Two important pieces of work for your post-Signing Day cooldown: Andy Staples imagines the deepest, Darth-est recruiting machinations of Mike Slive, and Steven Godfrey compiles a delightful compliance Q&A with Texas A&M’s Brad Barnes.
• Schedule matters. The Mountain West has released conference matchups for 2013-16 … peruse all the Pac-12 spring football schedules in one place … Army’s spring game won’t be played at Fort Hood after all.
• Tweet of the day. Mike Vrabel, never un-perky no matter the occasion:
Ash wed is a reminder and celebration of human mortality, and as a sign of mourning and repentance to God.
Have a great day!!—
Mike Vrabel (@CoachVrabel50) February 13, 2013
• Misc. If you were curious about Missouri players’ heart rates today, here is your satisfaction … Bill Connelly maps out targets and catches … and even some Texas fans think DeLoss Dodds needs to sit a couple plays out.